Chapter 14

Release and Live for the Present.

Study as if you were to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow – Isidore of Seville

I imagine a common mistake, or faux pas, we often make arrogantly as fragile humans is assuming we will always have an infinite amount of time. We erroneously believe in a certainty that we will always be able to categorize life events into a perfect box saved for later, or ride a boundless wave of rhetoric filled with “once I get, I wish, when I turn xx age and one day I plan to” that will lead to actually living out said desires. I often hear people putting off their hopes and dreams, talking themselves out of completing their bucket list frivolities, and even evading an earnest attempt at love, with the belief that time is always on our side. We tend to believe that we can course-correct our lives with minimal margin for error and save aspects of our lives for this abstract idea of later. Unfortunately, later doesn’t always present itself, and as someone who lacks patience, I don’t intend to wait on the sidelines for what-ifs that hide behind a “down the line” mantra.

I’m admittedly working on my patience because my eye twitches with “hemming & hawing.” Still, I will say, I want to experience every possible nuance on this green earth within reason. I want to scour the depths of this earth, exploring love, passion, self-development, excitement, adventure, care, and compassion, and I’m not waiting until an unforeseen Batman signal gives me the green light. Recently, I found out about a friend from college who passed away, and I could only think about this person’s plans for the future, or maybe the talks they had with themselves or others regarding what was to come in their lives and the relationships they wanted to mend. I think about my brother, who passed away at 27 years old back in 2007, and countless other individuals whose lives have changed in the blink of an eye, impacting their ability to live—and unfortunately, the concept of “later” didn’t present itself. Our immortality as humans may be a difficult concept to accept, and we often believe we can outrun the unknowns and uncertainties or meticulously plan our existence to perfection, but that’s not life. So often, our “I’ll do it later” or “I’ll enjoy life once I accomplish this” turns into a lifetime of chasing the next thing, removing ourselves from the present. Eventually, we look up in our elder years, realizing that instead of doing, we have only put off living for a false concept of later, filled with discussions of parables about what could have been done differently. 

I’m certainly not advocating for a life of unconventional living without planning or forethought. Instead, I’m offering a strong nudge to just do your shit, whatever that may be for you. Let’s remove the constraints we create out of fear, which we refer to as responsibility. Let’s break free from the limiting frameworks we adhere to out of tradition and, as mentioned in a previous post, detach from the notion of cringe. As we understand, we have one shot at this thing called life, with a finite amount of time. So why do we presumptuously put off our desires with the idea that we have countless do-overs? Why delay what can be done today until tomorrow? Is it out of internal trepidation, self-doubt, or social programming? Why do we talk ourselves out of the millions of possibilities before we even try? Are we hiding behind limiting beliefs that provide a false sense of security, or does living to our fullest potential frighten us? These are just a few of the ideas floating in my head, but I hope they serve as a catalyst for taking inventory of your life and considering if it’s one you can be proud of, given the time we have. Do you feel you’ve used this time wisely? Were you drifting along, burying your head in the sand and clinging to hope, or did you earnestly attempt to navigate this obstacle course? Are you truly present? This serves as a reminder to myself and my community: don’t put your life on hold. Feel, try your hand, and do everything you can with robust ability, because we never know when the clock will stop ticking. Have fun, love loudly, and let’s talk below!