Chapter 2:

The art and gift of Letting Go:

I don’t regret difficulties I experienced; I think they helped me to become the person I am today, I feel the way a warrior must feel after years of training; he doesn’t remember the details of everything he learned, but he knows how to strike when the time is right.

— PAULO COELHO

I firmly believe in starting over as many times as necessary and living multiple lives that garner the experience you need to be in your highest alignment. My birthday is approaching, and I often find myself using this time to reflect and explore areas of my life that may need improvement, re-calibrating, and ex-communicating persistent habits that don’t serve me in the least. The latter may sound extreme, but it has proven necessary for my continual growth and evolvement.

Since my last writing journey, I’ve been through a spiritual awakening on many levels. As stated in my previous post, hard lessons have thrust me forward to a reimagined mental fortitude. Natural maturation has been a part of the journey, but being stubborn and hard-headed has been the best teacher of life thus far for me. I’ve realized it can be hard for me to let go. This can look like staying in romantic or platonic relationships that have expired, remaining at a job I loathe entirely, and continuing old habits that may have once served a different chapter of my life.

I’ve realized my psyche is embedded in gray; the idea of black or white or malleable concepts being etched in stone are notions I don’t believe in. I think it lazily removes the nuances of life, the “what-ifs,” and do-overs that are conceivable. But, I’ve realized if this is my free-flowing state at all times, this will leave me indecisive, boundaryless, and not standing firm in situations that require a hard stance. Going through the motions, I didn’t realize or see the impact at the time until one day, I looked up and was no longer proud of my life. Somewhere along the course, I was no longer cultivating my life in ways that made me feel whole. I felt distracted by toxicity and was no longer creating and pursuing, and I was operating at baseline.

I had unknowingly let go of the practices that pushed me toward evolution, which made me feel stagnant and wasteful. I intentionally used the word “wasteful” to highlight what feels like just floating through life and not expounding on your capabilities, not tapping into yourself mentally, physically, intellectually, and spiritually. I had to get back to myself holistically or instead cultivate the highest enlightened version of myself. I’ve had a hell of a journey and metaphorically fought tooth and nail to be this version. I gained a newfound focus through journaling, therapy, meditation, solitude, and being comfortable with uncomfortableness. My vision is clear; I’m focused and disciplined but with balance. This journey is a lifelong one. I’m still learning, but I’m ready and excited and will have a shit ton of fun during the ride. What are your thoughts? Leave a comment below, and let’s chat!

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