Chapter 11

Here’s to removing the idea of Cringe and leading you on a journey of liberating Balance.  

My journey has always been the balance between chaos and order.- Philippe Petit

The beauty of self-awareness is the comprehensive knack to pinpoint what is needed to guide us back to our highest selves at any given moment or through some method of internal processing. Our bodies and minds will tell us when necessary breaks are needed, the nudge to create space for joy, the pull for unadulterated excitement, or the yearning for stillness and/or solitude. Our brains will stoke our hearts to nurture intimacy within romantic relationships, cultivate robust camaraderie within our friendships, and generate the pull to return to spaces or family that is the embodiment of home. Through self-awareness, I’ve recognized that these concepts represent balance for me, which propels me to my most creative space, where I thrive holistically. 

I’m not sure at what age I realized that I intend to leave no stone unturned, within reason, of course. But somewhere in adulthood, I recognized what I would consider usual, customary qualities about myself, such as an adventurous & inquisitive spirit mixed with a bit of “I gotta see for myself,” and I’m innately kind-hearted, but “who are you talking to”? On a more nuanced level, with experience and maturation, I’ve learned how to get back to my center when I feel my spirit is seemingly disrupted by bullshit or distractions, to be frank. I honor my range of emotions, and when ready, I eagerly move on and take a break without guilt-laden feelings. I’ve absorbed the idea that balance is key, and I’ve identified that my balance is a life filled with vivid experiences without the notion of “cringe.” 

Since my last post, I’ve been immersed in a wealth of life experiences that have intentionally drawn me back to my core, enhancing my creative capacity. I’ve chosen to live an organic and fulfilling life because it inspires my mind in ways I never imagined. I’ve come to realize that pursuing and engaging in the things you genuinely want to do without hesitation builds resilience and confidence like nothing else. As a creative person, I’ve discovered that I need intangible tools to sharpen my senses and make me feel alive. It’s like a personalized machine of wheels and cogs that operates instinctively based on its user. I thrive when I venture into the real world instead of lying in the hopes and wishes of actually living. Recently, my balance included a trip to New Orleans for Mardi Gras with my best friends from college, whom I dearly love like sisters, volunteering to package meal boxes with my yoga studio, and some socializing with my closest friends to see a Black orchestra and our favorite indie artist. I’ve danced freely, spent time indulging in my nerdy quirks, met a cool celebrity (lol), and experimented with capturing my style in a way that resonates with me. Living this way revitalizes my spirit, pushing me toward a state of continual self-development and ongoing internal maintenance. 

A framework I strive to uphold is to create more than I consume, connect to something greater, be intentional about nurturing the relationships that matter, and find freedom in every conceivable way. I often reflect on societal pressures, respectability politics, fear of visibility, and the new notion of “cringe” and how these social constructs can prevent us from fully embracing a fulfilling life in all its aspects. However, I’ve decided that my purpose and life force are more significant than any smirk, gasp, or “How dare she?” that could arise from those who have not chosen to live audaciously and occupy space in a way that resonates with them. Life is for living, and I intend to do so while taking breaks along the way. Let’s chat below and share how you balance your life and the practices you implement.