I’m turning how old again?? But I’m the baby, that can’t be right…not quite.
Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research. – Carl G. Jung
It’s funny how life can come full circle in the blink of an eye. I vividly recall being a teenager and in my early twenties, calling everyone on the planet “old” for what seemed like simply existing in hindsight or dibbling in old people’s shenanigans. My 40thbirthday is soon approaching, and I tend to reflect on these milestones to take inventory and ascertain what aligns with me or needs the boot. Looking back, when I naively conceptualized a 40-year-old, I imagined someone who was conventional, oddly & intensely mature, and quite dull, to be honest. I thought of a vanilla lifestyle in a suburban community and a nuclear family that goes bowling or to chain restaurants for excitement. Not to knock anyone who participates in these things, but I created somewhat of a mill-of-the-run archetype, who dropped their spark of living and traded their curious spirit in for minivans and the “I’m too old for this” spiel.
Alas, 40 is loudly knocking at my door, and the “I told you so” is boisterous and present. Dreading getting older hasn’t been a theme for me yet, so fortunately, I have instead focused my energy on my health and wellness and determining if the life I’ve cultivated is one I’m categorically proud of. I realized that life is what you make it, and we have the nerve and prowess to determine what life looks like for ourselves. A part of the process is deciding on the people we want in our precious orbits, the habits we create, the people we love, and figuring out a firm but malleable framework to reverberate through life. This process shapes who we are and governs how we see the world presented in front of us. So, this internal processing isn’t something I’ve taken lightly, especially as I’ve gotten older. With this development and maturation, I can delineate my quirks, pinpoint what makes me feel alive, and hone in on what makes me feel intoxicatingly in love. I’m conscious of what makes me feel fucking enraged, and I recognize the precipice of sweating on the top of my lip can mean I’m becoming dysregulated.
It’s a beautiful progression and an abstract process I can appreciate at this “big age.” I relish being an alchemist and designing my life so that it makes sense and embodies every nuance unique to me to create balance. I’m keenly aware that I value the importance of structure, discipline, and stability. This is my crux of creating homeostasis while creating space for necessary chaos. I lean into a healthy juxtaposition of working out 5 days a week, sticking to clean eating habits, and “my body is a temple,” accompanied with let’s go to Mars and have a trip if you catch my drift. I thrive in updating my monthly dry-erase board, committing to weekly journal entries, pledging to read 2-3x chapters per week of said book, and starting each day with guided meditation. I set intentions in tandem with delusional goals, and I flourish in a smidge of “Is this illegal?” while on an international vacation to get my blood pumping. Duality of turning 40 years old; make it yours and have fun. Let’s talk below!
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