Chapter 5: 

Happy Holidays:

May you laugh loudly & and inappropriately, drink to your delight, and continue to forge your unique traditions. 

A family is like a forest, when you are outside it is dense, when you are inside you see that each tree has its place. – African Proverb

With the holidays approaching, I hope everyone can take some time to enjoy their families and friends and get the much-needed rest I fear we may skip out on in this hustle and bustle. I know holidays can be challenging for several reasons, whether the loss of loved ones, the unduly pressure of hosting, or the off-putting dinner conversations where relatives cannot catch the cue. But as I’ve gotten older and more sentimental, I truly cherish these moments and memories, which I will hold dear to my little, sensitive heart. 

I unfortunately lost my older brother to gun violence in 2007, and I can say it still feels like a cratered hole that will never be filled again. I look in awe at social media posts of siblings with cheesy matching pajamas (even though my brother would never, lol) or simply siblings doing rather ordinary things. It represents life, living, the ability to love, and the ever-present feeling of missing out on those quintessential sibling moments. I often think of everything my brother could not experience as a young adult, but I have learned to materialize our irreplaceable moments together as children, which brings me joy. I understand as a “concept,” we are all living beings and will have a finite time on this earth as we know it, and we cannot hold on to people forever, but it doesn’t take away from the humanistic aspect of pain, hurt, and sorrow.  

A few themes that have come to the surface over several years are intentionality, watering relationships you hold dear, and slowing down to be present. I take pride in exposing my baby boomer parents to millennial cultural practices, and now they love a good happy hour and mimosas, lol. I hilariously enjoy springing a taboo night after stuffing our faces and watching my dad fumble and blurt out “one-hitter quitter” responses that make no sense. Also, now that I’m officially grown, we share dope-ass “connecting with Mother Earth” experiences if you catch the wave. Ha! Go Figure! All this to say, I empathically encourage you to enjoy your tribe, family, friends, and whatever community you have cultivated. Smile, laugh, cry, and express all the oddities you embody. You owe it to yourself on countless levels. Happy Holidays Lovebugs!